One year ago

It's hard to believe that an entire year has passed. One year ago today, I was sitting next to my husband, one fist gripped tightly around the arm rest of the chair, the other wrapped around a cross given to me. 

One year ago, I listened in shock as a doctor used the "c" word and said our lives were never going to be the same. I didn't want to look at the x-rays he was about to show us. Nor did I want to even hear words like "prognosis" and "treatable" and so many medical terms that would become all too familiar.

Fast forward to present day, and I'd agree with the doctor. Life indeed is not the same. In good ways, and some not so good.

I regret it often takes something life-changing to put life into perspective. 

I find myself going down the road of "what ifs"...

What if we had caught this sooner, would it not have spread?

What if we had caught this sooner, would there be a Lily or a Luke?

What if we didn't catch this when we did...

It's easy to get caught up in all the "what ifs", but instead, I choose to trust His timing.

When I find myself worrying, I try my best to give up control. I take that worry to the cross, turn around, and leave it there...because Jesus already paid the ultimate price and will take on that burden so that I don't have to.

I'm so grateful that Jesus gave me a new life long ago when I let him into my heart. And I'm grateful that I can draw strength from Him during trials in life.

The past year was a year of uncertainty, but with that came a lot of praise, laughter, hope, some normalcy, and joy. 

So what does the rest of this year hold? Christian is back to a 3 week cycle of chemo drugs for the time being. He receives one drug the first week, two the second, then has a week off. He seems to be doing okay so far, however did get a bit of a fever a couple days after his last treatment. We're not sure if it's a result of the chemo, or the cold he already had (which we hope, and turns out Luke had the same thing).

We continue to pray that these treatments have minimal side effects, but Christian remains Snyderstrong and can handle these if that's what it takes to get the job done for the long-term. We want to start seeing some real progress in upcoming scans!

Love to you all,

Keri